Do You Even Care?

This week, I had the opportunity to help facilitate and teach in leadership track (which I was in last semester).  It was awesome!

I’m learning that one of my gifts is the ability to teach and communicate things in a way that helps people understand, especially when it comes to public speaking. I enjoy the process of building a talk: prayer, progression, and practice. It’s as if I am discovering something new.  It takes me several days to stew on the topic and then help all of the information swirling around in my mind to converge into something worth telling.  I find that to be extremely satisfying and enjoy the delivery as well.

The topic that I spoke on was intentionally caring for people. This is something that I am passionate about and my ability to be intentional was something that I got a great deal of positive feedback on while on the World Race.  It’s extremely important, particularly when it comes to building trust.  Here are a few of the key concepts:

Intentionality breeds intimacy which ultimately leads to freedom in relationship.  

When we choose to be intentional, it means we are acting with a purpose.  In other words, the product of our actions does not happen by accident.  Similarly, genuine intimacy with another person whether it be friendship, a dating relationship, sibling, spouse, or anything else, does not simply happen.  It needs to be brought on with a deep level of trust.  Once we have an established trust and intimacy with another person through intentionality, we gain freedom in that relationship to be who we are and to say what needs to be said.

One of the best ways to intentionally care for others is to care for yourself well.

In short, boundaries are important.  We need to be people who can be honest and realistic about what we are able to give to relationships.  All of us have a limit to our relational capacity.  That is completely fine and healthy!  In order to care for ourselves well, we need to be comfortable establishing boundaries with our time, vulnerability, rest, and every other part of life.  The result is that people will be able to trust our “no” and “yes.”  If I tell you that I don’t make plans on Sunday because I keep that as a day of rest for myself, you can trust that when I do actually say yes to plans with you, I mean it.  It gives my word more weight and makes my “yes” have a greater value when it is given.  Boundaries and self care are vital when caring for others. 

Showing intentional care to others is not about you, it’s about them.

When we try to show care for others, especially from a leadership perspective, it is essential to check our motivations to ensure that we are being genuine.  People can spot someone being fake from a mile away!  Our primary motivation has to be an interest in loving someone well, in a way that makes them feel loved.  I could be “intentionally caring for you” for hours, but if quality time does not make you feel cared for, then the point is lost.  

There are three outlets for intentional care: self, others, and the Lord.

I think it’s important to remember that we can care for ourselves well.  I take a day of rest, exercise, read, spend time with the people close to me, and generally choose to do things that fill me up.  When it comes to caring for others and allowing others to care for me, that can be a vulnerable place.  Expressing needs and wants to be cared for is scary if people never follow-up with them, but it is worth it and necessary for intimacy. Finally, I believe that the Lord has a unique way of speaking to each of us.  Jesus never healed the exact same way, which shows his intentional nature as well.  It is important to make time for the Lord and to allow ourselves to actually receive intentional care from Him.

Boom.

So, now the question is:

Do you even care?  Let’s strive to never let that be a question that we are asked.  Let’s allow our intentionality to show others that we care deeply for them!